The Superhero Diaries 3.2: Medical Matters

All good superhero teams must have a trusted medic on hand, should they be required, and the Elite Force of Britain is no different to any good superhero team. Within their Secret Headquarters, they have a purpose built medical centre, complete with medic, nurse and receptionist. These trusted individuals know all they need to know about each superhero’s identity, medical history and ailments received during the course of their everyday superhero lives. Being as trusted as they are, they are well-paid for what they do, but they also need to charge for each medical procedure they carry out as they can receive no other outside funding. Such problems arise with top secret organisations.

One page of one of their invoices has ‘turned up’ which means it has to appear within these Superhero Diaries:

Invoice Number 79513A
Invoice From: Doctor Eli Flopp
Period Covered: Quarter B, 2014
Invoice Prepared By: Natalie Byte (Receptionist);
Angela Chance (Nurse);
Doctor Eli Flopp

Page One of Eighty-Three

Patient: The Crimson Songbird
Case: “The Porcupine’s Sting”
Procedure: To remove 1,231 artificial porcupine spines from the left arm of the patient that had become embedded during a battle with the villainous Ancient Porcupine who used his experimental Porcugun. AP advised at the time that the gun should have only fired one spine instead of the 1,231 it actually fired, and vowed never to use the weapon again.
Cost: £500.00 per spine. Total cost: £615,000.00

Patient: Invisible Charlie
Case: “A Patchwork Orange”
Procedure: To peel a patch of orange dye from the patient’s leg which had become affixed to the patient’s skin during an encounter with the Dyemaster. This case wouldn’t have arisen if the patch on the patient’s clothing had been invisible, like the rest, but as it wasn’t, it absorbed the orange dye which in turn started to be absorbed into the patient’s leg when its structure had been molecularly altered when his power was in use.
Cost: £1,000.00 for the removal and £550.00 for a follow-up consultation.

Patient: Muriel Magnificent
Case: “Breaking Point”
Procedure: Treatment of a black-eye obtained as a result of Bettystretch246 over-stretching herself to beyond her furthest point and ricocheting back into shape, and subsequently, and entirely accidentally, elbowing the patient in her right eye.
Cost: £45.00

Patient: Muriel Magnificent
Case: “Breaking Point”
Procedure: Treatment of a fractured toe obtained as a result of Invisible Charlie not seeing the patient whilst he was walking backwards whilst invisible and treading on her foot.
Cost: £65.00

Patient: Muriel Magnificent
Case: “Breaking Point”
Procedure: Treatment of a sprained wrist obtained as a result of trying on a small-size jacket of Lycralad’s which was too small and simply snatched her arm back too quickly.
Cost: £85.00

Patient: The Puddleton Protector
Case: “Breaking Point”
Procedure: Separation from Muriel Magnificent after their bodies had become merged at the right and left thigh during an encounter with Hemingway’s the Tailor’s experimental Moleculizer Ray, as they were trying to create new adaptable clothing for Invisible Charlie.
Cost: £1,500.00

Patient: Muriel Magnificent
Case: “Breaking Point”
Procedure: Separation from The Puddleton Protector after their bodies had become merged at the left and right thigh during an encounter with Hemingway’s the Tailor’s experimental Moleculizer Ray, as they were trying to create new adaptable clothing for Invisible Charlie.
Cost: £1,500.00

Patient: The Crimson Songbird
Case: “Silent Whispers”
Procedure: Vocal-chord treatment for sore throat
Cost: £125.00
Continued on Page Two
Page total summary: £619.870.00

The Superhero Diaries 3.1: Heroes in Tomorrow

Catapulted back to 1924 and then flung mercilessly into the immediate future (tomorrow) four members of the Ultimate Superhero team, the Elite Force of Britain, find themselves trapped just outside of our time. Bettystretch, Lycralad, The Firetop and Invisible Charlie, after having met up with one of Tomorrow’s Superheroes, Captain Mindstorm, have finally managed to make contact with the EFB through the team’s Psychic Recorder.

Psychic Sue, the only superhero who can use the Recorder, never realised the flaw, but reading the printout afterwards made it abundantly clear to everyone else:


Who is this and did you activate the Psychic Recorder – and why?
Can you hear me?
Captain Mindstorm.
Hello captain – have we met before?
Where did we last meet?
The time barrier
The t…
Prevents normal communication
…ime barrier? Is that a bar or something?
Slow process.
You aren’t making much sense. Am I coming through clearly?
Crystal clear.
Ah, good. Why are you communicating this way? Do you know where our missing friends are? Bet
No. Not in person.
…tystretch – tall and thin? Have you received a note then?
We haven’t.
Oh. Maybe you’ve seen The Firetop – his hair looks like fire
The T?
The T? Or Lycralad – very tight clothes?
Ah – yes. Very difficult.
Quite uncomfortable, I’d say, looking at how he walks sometimes.
Small window to get through.
I’ll say! What about Invisible Charlie? Have you seen Invisible Charlie?
I… Oh, No no no… hahaha!
I see what you did there – no pun intended! So, why are you ‘calling’?
Sorry about that
It’s OK.
There’s a time delay
No worries.
Kind of, but it’s a little difficult
Let it go
You’re trying, though.
That’s charming, that is – and I am only trying – to help! So you don’t know where our colleagues are? You’re blocking a very important channel here. I’m ending the connection now.
It’s the only way to
Not interested. Please release your side of the connection.
Get through to you
Now look, you’re wasting valuable time… we have colleagues to search for.
They’re here – with me
You’ve just said you haven’t seen them.
No, no note.
What? What note?
Yes, it is fiery.
What is? The note?
Yes. Very snug. Haha.
Snug? I don’t have time for this nonsense!
Quite brave, though, to do so.
Brave – to put up with nonsense? Foolish more like!
I see what you did there – very clever.
You’re starting to annoy me now. What have I done?
I know where your friends are, and need help in getting them home
Are we going around in circles?
OK. No worries.
Let what go?
What?? I’m pulling the plug now.
No! Please don’t go! It’s the delay
OK. Talk. Record. Think, whatever. Tell me what you’re trying to tell me.
The time and thoughts are out of sync.
That’s all well and good, but what about our friends?
I have them here!
Can I think with them?
No – it’s the time-psych barrier.
Ah. I see what you’re doing – trying to psych me out. It’ll never work. You make a note of that.
And until you have something useful to say, keep things to yourself. We superheroes are very busy, you know.
The note?

No – wait!

Don’t go…

I’m trying to help. You’re just not getting me…

No, there’s a delay in responding…

A delay in – ah never mind…

I’ll try another way to communicate…

The message isn’t getting through clearly. Firetop, I’ll have to get you back another way…

Halloween Extended

Yes, for one week Halloween has been extended in the form of this poll.

On Halloween, I posted a series of Unlikely Alibis provided – very kindly, I must add – by several visitors to this site. As promised, I now provide a quick poll for anyone to vote for the alibi that is the most unlikely.

The Unlikely Alibi voted the most unlikely with the most votes will be deemed the Ultimate Unlikely Alibi – a prize that money most certainly can not buy. It doesn’t mean, however, that the person with the most votes is the one responsible for all of the strange happenings in the run up to Halloween.

This poll is set to close in a week’s time, and when it does I shall post the reveal.

If you need to read the Unlikely Alibis before casting your spell vote, here are the links:

Prenin, in Who’s that rapping on the door?

Diane Henders in Use the doorbell, not the draw – ah, never mind!

Lame Adventures in Beware! There’s a loose stone on the step

C M Stewart in The walls have eyes, don’t you know?

Visionkeeper in Keeper of visions; Caster of shadows

Andra Watkins in Wet Dreams

Sue Dreamwalker in The Witching Hour

Links to the contributors’ own blogs are available within the posts, or the links page.

8. The Witching Hour

The Grand Clock struck four as the latest guest arrived at the Mansion, carrying garden produce, a painting and a card. It wasn’t quite midnight, but the Clock didn’t know that. Neither did the visitor for that matter, but she had been caught up in terrible roadworks just outside the Mansion. Well, the Grinds, and miles away from the Mansion, for that matter.

Anyway, she was here now, and Miss Duncan showed her to the Sitting Room.

The Cloaked Figure sat back.

“Come in… come in…”

“Sue Dreamwalker.” Miss Duncan boomed.

“Sue…?” The Cloaked Figure was trying to trick this final guest.

“This evening, I’m a traveller with a message, that is all I can say.”

“Curses!” Sue Dreamwalker heard the Cloaked Figure say, inwardly.

“This card will reveal my message… and with it my alibi?” She smiled as she gave the card to Miss Duncan to pass to the Cloaked Figure. Instead, Miss Duncan read the card aloud:

By day I am the Dreamwalker who pens her poems of light
Yet could I be the one who nailed Maribel at night?
I often roam the outer veils of ether mist and stars
Yet could I be the one who creeps to look in Jars?
I maybe peeped inside from the window with a view
The Mansion doors were open could this now be a clue?
A Dreamwalker it has to be said knows a thing or two
Yet could I be the one….. Well I’ll leave that up to YOU!

Once again, the Cloaked Figure hummed.

Not one visitor revealed who they really were. As was asked.

Not one visitor said for definite that it was or wasn’t them.

Not one visitor expected to actually visit the Mansion this evening, but they did… and it must be asked did they actually leave? One would think so.

The Cloaked Figure and Miss Duncan looked around the Sitting Room. They knew that Sue Dreamwalker had been there for they were still looking at her card… but she was no longer in the room.

Had everything been a dream? The Full Moon? The visits? Maribel?

Oh, I doubt that, and I hope not. All of October a dream? Nah.

Somebody has visited the Mansion and ‘altered’ things slightly. I can’t say for definite that it wasn’t one of the fine visitors this evening, but something deep within me says it seems unlikely. They all have alibis, after all.

Next week, you’ll be able to vote for your favourite Unlikely Alibi when I post a poll. Just for fun, but that’s what this place is all about. You never know, we may even find out who was behind the strange goings on. There are some clues hidden. Somewhere.


I’d like to thank all of tonight’s contributors, without whose help tonight’s posts wouldn’t have been possible. Links are included to their respective sites on their relevant part of this Halloween Special… I recommend you check out their sites if you don’t already. Apologies that not all submitted alibis have been used, but time constraints, mainly there not being enough of it, meant I had to write on the fly. It could have been a spider, but it’s hard to tell when everything’s covered in cobwebs and in shadow.


7.Wet Dreams

I dreamed I was creeping around outside the Mansion, Tom. I swear, it was just a dream. I don’t think I used my inner time traveler to flit across the ocean and stand in your garden…….but I saw you through the window, styling your hair, and I ran from your Inner Zombie. It chased me to a lake where I saw some cats. I was so scared of those freaking cats………I dove into the lake, and when I woke up, the bed was wet. So, it couldn’t possibly be me, because I wet my bed that night.

Shadowcat watched the next visitor approach the front door to the Mansion. Dripping wet. The visitor that is, not the cat. There’s been no rain around here today, a side-effect, probably, to the unexpected Full Moon, so no reason why anyone should be slightly damp, let alone dripping wet.

Splodge the Cat joined Shadow on the step, causing the visitor to stop in her tracks.

The visitor took to her heels and ran around the side of the Mansion, looking for another way in. Through the brightness of the Moon, her path was well lit, but she still didn’t see the figure she ran into, although, in all fairness, the figure was very well camouflaged in a large dark cloak.

Another figure appeared from behind.

“Andra Watkins, The Accidental Cootchie Mama.” Miss Duncan, it would appear, seemed to know everyone. “Let’s get you dry…” she said, as she dragged the latest guest through yet an open patio window at the side of the Mansion – and into the Sitting Room.

“Tell me,” The Cloaked Figure shortly joined them in the Sitting Room, “Are you Andrea?”

“NO!” Came the stern reply from the rapidly-drying guest.


“No! No! No!!!”


No answer gave the answer to that question. The glare did the same.

The Cloaked Figure laughed with an evil-sounding lilt, although it didn’t sound right at all.

“Ahem. Moving on.” The Cloaked Figure cleared his/her throat. “I’ve seen your dream, Cootchie Mama. Felt it. Lived it. Very good. Very good.”

A few minutes silence made the Sitting Room feel slightly uncomfortable.

“Are you sure it was a dream?”

The Cloaked Figure left the Sitting Room, needing a drink. Miss Duncan approached The Accidental Cootchie Mama. “It’s not raining now. Here, let me help you out and on your way. Follow me… it’s quicker this way.”

The visitor and the maid made their exit from the Sitting Room via a ladder up to a loft in the corner.

Can a dream be an alibi?  I don’t see why not…

6. Keeper of visions; Caster of shadows

The doorbell rang as the Grand Clock struck the hour. It was ten-past, but the Grand Clock always liked to be different.

Miss Duncan, the by-now familiar Head Maid, opened the door to find a lady standing and smiling there.

“Greetings to you all!” she beamed.

“Oh, do come in!” Bellowed the Head Maid, as the trees shook in the Grinds outside.

Miss Duncan, gripping the visitor on her upper right arm,with pincer-like fingers,pulled her as she walked to the Sitting Room.

“One World Rising!” once again bellowed the familiar voice, as its owner flung open the door to the Sitting Room and pushed the lady inside.

“Greetings, Visionkeeper.” The Cloaked Figure gestured his/her latest visitor to take a seat. “I am the Shadowcaster. You are the Visionkeeper, yes?”

“I am me, and that is all I will say at this time” Visionkeeper smiled. She was carrying a small bag, with a hand-written note within. She handed the note to the Cloaked Figure, saying “This note is meant for TL.”

The Cloaked Figure looked at the note:

Well now TL….I understand why you are doing this, but good heavens…Your readers? There is no way I could have done it as a trip across the pond to pin notes and dolls on your trees is beyond my financial capabilities. Not to offend you, but if I were going to spend dollars on airfare it would not be to the Grinds.I would be on the next plane to Tahiti or someplace warm! It is too cold and rainy over there. Besides, my Lyme disease has me laying pretty low these days and most certainly not gallivanting about. I still say the witch is behind this, then again, you still don’t know who or what lives behind that door in the basement! This culprit could be just about anyone…I mean, how do you know Splodge and his friends are not spies for their masters evil intentions without their knowing? Blessings and wishing you luck…. VK

“Hmmm…” The Cloaked Figure gently tapped a small bundle of ginger fur away from the desk, hoping nobody present would see Splodge the Cat sheepishly walk out of the room. “It isn’t raining here tonight…” CF thought aloud. “And we have an extra Full Moon.”

The Cloaked Figure folded the slip of paper and handed it back to ‘VK’, who popped it back into her purse. “You can let TL see that when you see him…”

I don’t know about you, dear reader, but these alibis are all very good, aren’t they? Anyway, back to the night’s events…

“Thank you for calling by,” Miss Duncan showed VK to the Foyer. “Oh, whilst you’re here, why not have a look at this…” she said, as she walked into the Vestibule taking Visionkeeper with her…