Notta lotta red… Gotta lotta red.

Balance. That’s what we need.
This blog needs more red, I’ve always thought.

There’s a lot of black but hardly any red. That’s good in the financial world I suppose, but around here we aren’t in the financial world. We’re in Blogland. And around here, anything goes.

I was in the bathr laboratory earlier today, trying to come up with an anti-negativity potion, as you do. For this mystical potion, copious amounts of beetroot were needed (with other top-secret ingredients) to get the binding element to set.

I was blending the ingredients in the half-invisible bucket when I suddenly had the urge to sneeze. Confounded hay fever strikes at any time. Unusual for it to do so in the bath lab, I must add, unless it was a reaction to the rare beetroot pollen that’s been recently discovered. You may have heard about it on the news.

Anyway, beetroot pollen aside, the sneeze was one of those triple-effort affairs, that became louder and more physical with each sneeze. I shuddered after the last sneeze, which literally blew my sock off as my right leg thrust forward as though it had a mind of its own (Lucky for me I was in stockinged-feet at the time. Goodness only knows what would have happened had I been wearing my hiking boots!) I had to breathe in deeply afterwards to regain my breath.

No sooner had I done so, I glanced in the mirror and the sight took my breath away again.

The vapours of the concoction I’d inhaled have turned me bright red.

I’m now kneeling here, typing this and casting a nice cosy rosy glow all around the room, reminiscent of a winter’s evening fireside scene.

Hopefully, the effects of the vapours are only temporary, and I’ll be able to go shopping tomorrow. If not, I’ll have to come up with a reason for my new skin tones… I can’t see anybody buying the anti-negativity angle.

Ah, Blogland… you may be able to help. Hypothetically, if you suddenly turned bright red, how would you explain it away? Please leave your suggestions in the comments below. I may need to use one; you never know…

As I was losing Spider Solitaire

                              As I was losing Spider Solitaire
                            A voice screamed out – I do declare
                         The voice was one within my mind
                       One that’s usually gentle and kind
                    One that keeps herself quite calm
                        And not one to raise alarm
                Thomasina, my Inner Chick
            Needed my attention – quick
          ’You’ll never win’, she said to me
          ’Do something else and you’ll see
           How things are better without defeat
            What amazing things you will create
             Be more productive with your time
               And you’ll notice just how things are fine’    

As I was winning computer chess
Who should speak? Can you guess? 
Thomasina, my Inner Femme  
Raised her eyebrows and said ‘Not Again   
These computer games, they may be fun    
But tell me how many have you won?     
Losing isn’t the best way ahead      
Will you listen to what I’ve said?’       
I looked within, and said with a smile        
Thomasina, please stay a while         
Although I lose at Solitaire,          
I win at chess, so winning’s there.           
It’s all in balance, in a strange way,            
I could lose tomorrow, but win today.                
Some things I’m good at, others, I’m not                    
But how would I know if I don’t try the lot?
                           

Sometimes, wasting my time is productive. I’m rubbish at Spider Solitaire. Lose every time, but if I hadn’t had a go this evening, my Inner Woman Thomasina would never have made an appearance. It’s been a while, and she makes a pleasant change from my Inner Zombie or Fingers, my Inner Typist.

The Middle-Aged Six Pack Lady

A new superhero is in town!

She’s a witty and comical, daring and adventurous, gym-going kickboxing Canadian superhero, who keeps all other Canadians (and visitors) safely away from grizzlies and beavers alike.

She has several super abilities, one of which is slipping occasional innuendoes surreptitiously where you wouldn’t normally expect an innuendo to be slipped. I don’t write them like she does.

She has the ability to play the piano, paint and write, and, I would say, most probably at the same time… she’s a great multi-tasker, and knows how to handle tools.

And this week, she has a birthday. A special birthday.

Happy birthday, Diane.

I hope you don’t mind that I’ve revealed your super secret to the world… and borrowed your image to boot, although the uniform conceals your identity perfectly. You mentioned last year that you couldn’t see Marvel Comics introducing Middle-Aged Six-Pack Lady, well if they won’t, it’s only fair that someone does.

You can follow Diane’s adventures here. Go visit! You’ll be glad you did.

Almost Rhymeless Nonsense


As I ate a sandwich
Thinking basically nothing
I noticed a little problem
An itch somewhere beneath my elbow

My cup which once contained liquid
Now stands on the table empty
Emptied by the monster
But that’s my little secret

I trekked across the foyer
Not straight but almost zigzag
When through the window I glimpsed
An animal whose name doesn’t rhyme: a wolf

An idea came to mind like the lighting of a bulb
To write a post without much depth
Where each line ends with a word that sounds like no other
Except that one, which means I end on a foible.

Apologies. A Sunday stream of consciousness nonsense rhyme that doesn’t even do that! Which, actually, was intentional. And even though it doesn’t, it kind of makes sense.

Words.

I do like to have fun with them at times!

Oops. Pesky New Writer.

beepbeepbeep

Today is Saturday.
It is.
Again!

One of the blogs I follow, Viv in France, introduced me to a new poetic form, the hainaku, so I thought I’d give it a go this morning.

I also thought I’d give the new posting platform a go, as I usually use Windows Live Writer for my posts. I couldn’t even fathom how to insert an image, so switched to the old editor immediately, and next time I’ll be back on my familiar (and user-friendly) posting platform.

I knew I wouldn’t like it. I didn’t like the Beep beep beep thing to start with. I know I should really be more patient with new things, but sometimes it’s the tried and tested that’s the best route. Still… try anything once!

*Apologies to those followers who spotted this post within the first ten seconds of it being posted. I’d forgotten to add a title, amidst all the confusion. Sigh.